I don’t feel young anymore. I recognize that I’m only 21, but I still don’t count myself as being young, nor do I count myself as being old. Yet, I can feel Death coming for me. If you feel the same way, here are some signs that you are growing old.
- Going out sucks. You’re trying to tell me that people prefer a night out to a night in? Can’t relate. I would rather not wear uncomfortable clothes to some bar only to buy an incredibly expensive drink and then use a bathroom from my nightmares. I want to sit in my armchair at home with a glass of wine while I watch Ghostbusters. No one I see in a bar will ever be as cute as Sigourney Weaver anyway.
- You’ve got weird hobbies. Hobbies seem to be an important part of being an old person. They keep you busy while you contemplate life’s greatest mysteries. However, I think hobbies might be evolving. For example, my grandmother collected spoons and now I collect Harry Potter Lego Figurines. My grandfather collected baseball cards and my brother collects Magic the Gathering cards. I also knit, so maybe some OG hobbies still remain.
- You no longer understand the kiddies. Who is Mrs. Keisha? What is the difference between vaping and juuling? What in the hell does “we stan” mean? The more I go online, or talk to people younger than me, the more I find myself becoming my grandparents. As soon as I finally begin to understand something, it is rapidly replaced with some other stupid young people lingo or trend.
- Your body starts to hurt. I can actually recall a time in my life where I fell out of a tree and then just immediately got back up to climb it again. Now, I would call an ambulance if I fell out of a tree. Along with the inability to bounce back like I once could, I find myself with weird issues that I was under the impression you only experience at the age of 70. Why does my elbow lock up every now and again? Why do my knees ache when it’s cold out? Why does my thumb randomly go numb sometimes? I thought I had another couple of decades before my body started to shut down, but I guess I was wrong.
Jordan Warren is a junior studying professional writing. When she’s not studying you can find her watching Netflix in her pajamas, writing short stories, or taking pictures of the squirrels on campus. You can follow her on Instagram @jortay_ole