Let’s talk about March.
March, man. It is by far the best month of the whole year. It’s absolutely ranked numero uno out of twelve. I could go on and on—I could probably write a whole dissertation—about all the pros the month of March has packed into its 31 days. I’ll save you the time and effort, though, and share with you the best of the best that this month has to offer. And if you are skeptical by any means, trust me, and keep on reading, my friend!
March and mud go hand in hand. Mud is just everywhere when we look around this month. It’s plastered to our cars, stuck to the bottom of our shoes, tracked into our living spaces and sometimes all over your clothes when you slip and plummet into it. Speaking of taking a roll around in the mud, what’s better than watching those around us fall into it on the way to class? Free entertainment—that is what March provides us with. Also, what’s better than looking out your dorm window or apartment balcony and seeing greenish, mostly brownish hues and wormhole looking puddles as you sip your morning cup of joe? Nothing is better. Breathe in that fresh March muck smell.
Whether you’re choosing your outfit for the day or going on a casual shopping spree, March loves to throw you those fashion curveballs that the other eleven months can’t seem to manage. One day it could be in the sixties, the next could be a blizzard. Or even better, it could be sixty-four degrees at noon and then a winter advisory pops up by evening. You never know what you’ll get in March so dressing for the day is near impossible, but that is the thrill of it. And when one is lacking the appropriate March apparel, don’t fret, stores won’t have anything for you to choose from either. By month three of the year, stores have ditched all winter clothing and have moved on to summer pieces. Snow on the ground in March? Don’t worry, American Eagle has some booty shorts, a crop top and gladiators to keep you bundled up and fashion forward.
- Spring Break
Oh, spring break. It’s a time to kick back and chill on a beach at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, drinking endless piña coladas with those cute ass mini umbrellas. Or spring break is a time to sit at your parents’ house, eating a bag of Doritos, scrolling through the ‘gram and watching your friends from high school have the time of their lives doing body shots off of each other and random hot people they’ve befriended in their drunken stupor. If this is the reality of your spring break, I feel you. Shots, shots, shots for March!
March brings with it mid-semester stress. There are midterms, shit gets real with assignments and essays and it is a time just far enough away from finals to not worry, yet close enough that professors are bringing them up and giving you mini anxiety attacks. We stop and think about how the school year is coming to a close. Some of us are wanting the time to slow so we don’t have to go back home to our parents’ for the summer months, while others are trying to find a job so we aren’t forced to actually move back in with Mom and Dad for real. So hit me with that school stress, March.
- Green Shits
Some of you are going to say, “YAS!” And others I have lost now at this point. But let me remind you because I always forget this aspect of March until it is already happening. March is the month of St. Patrick, and we Americans like to take things to the next level and make everything green in celebration. Leading up to, during and weeks after St. Patty’s day, there will be green-dyed food and, of course, our favorite: neon green-colored beer. You will probably consume a great deal of green beer if you are a social individual because, frankly, every house or frat party will be trying to get rid of all that green after the grand Irish celebration. So for about half the month of March, every time you make your way to the restroom you’ll be reminded of your time at Sigma Zeta Alpha Booze, dancing your ass off with that solo cup filled to the top with a green room-temperature adult beverage as a rain storm of lucky charms fell upon your little head. Holiday festivities that keep on bringing back to mind those memories and decisions you might want to forget. Thank you, green food coloring, the true MVP of March.
Hannah Shaneberger is a senior professional writing major with a focus in editing and publishing. When she is not at home exploring the coastlines of Lake Superior, you can find her spending too much money on the latest makeup, writing abstract poetry and hanging out in tattoo shops collecting new ink.