If you were a freshman in 2014, your first party was probably the one that someone got stabbed at. Legendary. Alcohol probably did us all a favor by making us forget half of the crazy nights of freshmen year, but some people remember their first parties like they were yesterday. Here are the stories of the unfortunate students who can’t seem to forget them.*
R: “I was at a party, and I had a little too much to drink. I kept telling my sisters that I was going to text a bunch of people on my phone (this is terrible, considering that I almost texted my boss). My sisters ended up taking my phone away, but not before I texted a few people. The next morning, I went through my phone and it turns out that I had texted Walmart. The reason I had this contact in my phone was from a contest I’d entered a while ago. Anyway, the funniest part was what the text actually said: ‘you up?’ I have no memory of sending it. This is why drinking and texting just don’t mix.”
M: “I waited until second semester of my freshman year to start partying, and the first really big party I went to was after my sorority placed really well in Greek Week. We were at our partner’s house and it happened to be the frat my cousin was in. My cousin and I have never been close, and we don’t really hang out at family functions. When I saw him at the party we were both pretty inebriated, so we decided to start doing shots of blueberry Burnett’s together. We were screaming and laughing, and we thought it would be a good idea to let our family know how much fun we were having. We ended up texting our family group chat (with my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins) to let them know that we were doing shots together as a part of ‘cousin bonding.’ Now every time I go to a party, my dad mentions blueberry Burnett’s.”
A: “So the first party I went to was a house party, and I went with a group of friends. When we got there, one of my friends saw his ex from high school sitting on a guys lap and hardcore making out with him. My friend got upset and wanted to get one of us to make out with him to make his ex jealous. We didn’t want to kiss him, so I suggested that he accidentally spill a beer on her. Well…he ended up pressuring me to do it, and I did. It was pretty clearly not an accident, and we all ended up getting kicked out of the party. The sad part was that the ex didn’t even care, she paused for only a moment before going back to her make out session.”
E: “My friend Isaac and I went out for the first time and we needed a way to get beer. We saw an upperclassman who was hosting a party at his apartment, so we asked if we could give him a dollar for a beer and he agreed. After getting a slight buzz, we wanted more. So Isaac checked the fridge and found a 30 pack. He started handing me beers, and eventually we were both double fisting Bud Lights. Soon, this huge Fabio-esque guy walked in and yelled at us for taking his beer. We covered our asses by saying some guy was in the kitchen and we asked him if we could buy some beers off him, and he gave us these. Then the dude apologized to us for the mix up and actually handed us both another beer each. We later found out his name was Hollywood, and we went back to that apartment several times. We eventually got MIPed there.”
H: “As a freshman, I was absolutely obsessed with One Direction (still am, tbh), and the tickets to their tour went on sale the same day as the U of M vs MSU game. I ended up purchasing the tickets while I was out at a tailgate (completely and utterly destroyed), for a show in Toronto (completely wrong show). My card ended up being locked after I purchased the tickets, and was denied everywhere I went for the rest of the day. I didn’t put two and two together and couldn’t pay for my drunk Chipotle after the tailgate.”
D: “I was at a frat party with my friends, and everyone was in the basement. Someone pulled the fire alarm when I was in the bathroom with my roommate. As soon as we heard the alarm we started running, along with everyone else in the house. As I was running through the crowd I lost a flip flop. I decided to just throw the other one back into the crowd (what’s one shoe without the other?). I was standing barefoot on the corner of the sidewalk waiting for my friends when the fire truck drove by; I could feel the judgement from the firefighters as they watched all of us fleeing.”
K: “You know how they tell you not to take drinks from strangers? Yeah. I took a drink from a stranger named Gator.”
*Submissions edited for clarity.
Danielle Schwartz is a senior studying English and professional writing. When she’s not writing or taking pictures of her dog, you can usually find her eating a veggie burger or drinking Irish Breakfast tea. Check out her dog pics on Instagram at @danielleeilleen.