A comprehensive survival guide (read as: rant) about the classic spring semester struggles.
Do you know what day it is? Can you remember whether you’re leaving your Tuesday 8 a.m. or if you’re actually heading to your Wednesday afternoon class? We at ing aren’t sure either; we haven’t crossed off a page in our planner since December. By now you’ve probably noticed the crappy contrast between fall and spring semester (if not by the weather, then definitely by your waning will to leave your bed). Though our studiousness has been sacked by the spring semester, we were still able to pull ourselves off the couch to write this guide. We hope it helps you rediscover the motivation that always seems to disappear around the start of the new year.
Step 1: Realize that the first week of spring semester is not called “Welcome Week” for a reason.
In fact, the only thing “welcome” about the first week was saying goodbye to your great Aunt Sandy’s slobbery cheek kisses at holiday parties. Last semester you could set out for a walk and find yourself accidentally attending a rager in someone’s front yard. Wild outdoor tailgates are not a thing anymore. For those that attempted anyway, ing has one question: did you have to unfreeze a frat guy’s solo cup full of cheap beer from his mouth?
Step 2: Accept (or accept again) that spring semester doesn’t actually mean spring.
Wipe off the dust that accumulated on your calendar sometime between the end of fall semester and now. Check the date. Yes, it’s February. Yes, it’s still cold. Last time you visited home, did you half-heartedly throw a pair of shorts into your duffel bag? Though we hate to be the first to break it to you, “spring” semester is a freezing fraud. You’re paying all that money and MSU can’t even teach you what season it is?
Step 3: Summon your final few drops of willpower.
If you’re not spending the spring semester stuck under a snow pile, you’re probably stuck in a mound of textbooks and homework assignments. Recall fall semester’s color-coded notes and weekly visits to your professor’s office hours. Now you’re lucky if you and the empty cup of coffee you fell asleep next to make it off the floor near your desk. ing advises you to set small, attainable goals for yourself, like making it to lunchtime without falling asleep. We believe in you.
Step 4: Learn to look forward to the “holidays.”
The good news is that you made it through the cringy romance of Valentine’s Day. The bad news is that you can’t stuff your feelings away with mashed potatoes and turkey (if this inspires you to have Thanksgiving in March, please invite us). But you still have St. Patrick’s Day to look forward to. You might choose to use this day to observe the campus-wide protest of the lingering cold weather. St. Patty’s Day might as well be spring semester’s spoof on Halloween; the party-going zombies that are shivering in their favorite green shorts outdo most of the cat costumes in October.
Step 5: Really, really relish your spring break.
Even if you’re spending your spring break buried beneath blankets and thirty throw pillows, just remember: you could be waddling over sidewalks of relentless ice. Plus, does fall semester reward you with a week off halfway through? Nope. Just make sure you peel that bag of Doritos from your pants before you come back to school.
Step 6: Graduate! Or, celebrate the fact that you made it through a whole year.
You probably accomplished something this semester…right?
Danielle Schwartz is a junior studying English and professional writing. When she’s not writing or taking pictures of her dog, you can usually find her eating a veggie burger or drinking her daily English Breakfast tea. See her dog pics on Instagram at @danielleeilleen.