Post-Roommates: 10 Things I Will Not Miss About Them

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Anyone who has ever had a roommate knows it’s not always great. Sometimes, you meet people and become great friends. Other times, you end up living with the worst type of people, from the annoying to a downright repulsive monster. So for everyone ready to snap their middle fingers up and say ‘Bye Bitch’, here’s top reasons why you won’t miss your bad roommate.

1. My roommates were always loud at night, and I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep until they went to bed which seriously sucked. Especially when it’s a school night and you have an 8 a.m., but your roommate is hanging out with friends at 3 a.m. Quick P.S.A. for anyone who keeps people up at night: Stop being an asshat.

Marc Goldberg said, “I won’t miss falling asleep to the incessant clickety-clack of their keyboard every night.”

Ivy Woods said, “Waking me up by smacking on hot Cheetos and pickle juice.”

 

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2. Cleaning up was a problem for one of my past roommates. Her side of the room was beyond filthy. She would leave spilled liquids and all sorts of trash in the living room. Once my other roommates and I found spoiled ice-cream sandwiched between the futon cushions. Disgusting doesn’t even begin to describe the situation.

Christian O’Keefe said, “I won’t miss accidentally stepping on dirty undies.”

 

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3. My roommate borrowed possessions without asking. She would wear other people’s clothes, use their bedsheets for sleepovers and damage the items she used. By the end of the year her “borrowing” turned into stealing.

Christie McNally said, “His girlfriend used up all my expensive body wash.”

Isaiah Grant said, “Eating my MF-ing food!”

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4. She was rude or tone deaf. Like suddenly running her fingers in my other roommate Anna’s* hair and remarked, “I heard your people like to have your hair played with.” Another time, she couldn’t understand why everyone else wanted the vomit-stained carpet removed from the room.

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5. When you have roommates, you have no privacy. They’re always there. You can’t Netflix and chill if Kelly is right across the room. Or vent over a phone conversation without someone getting in your business.

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6. The Awkward Guest(s): When you wake up and find random people passed out in the living room and kitchen, something doesn’t feel right. As someone who has walked and reached over sleeping strangers to get to the fridge, let me tell you it feels so weird. I kept thinking, “Who the fuck are these people? Okay, fireball, Smirnoff, Jack Danie…what the fuck is that brownish-purple shit?” Or coming back into your room to find “Michael” alone lounging on the futon.

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7. Bathroom rules and space are almost non-existent. #1, there is never enough room in the bathroom for you and your roommates’ items. Everything is so cramped. #2, people don’t bother to knock before entering a bathroom. Imagine getting out of the shower without a towel and someone bursts into the bathroom. Or taking a hard shit, the door open and the next thing you know Kevin is staring you down in horror.

Blaire Williams said, “Them not cleaning the bathroom when it’s there turn or leaving the suit a mess, or leaving trash throughout the dorm.”

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8. Roommate drama is the worst situation to deal with. I used to have a roommate that always tried to start drama. For months she spread lies and tried to get everyone else to turn against each other. Then try to feign innocence and act passive aggressive as fuck. The whole thing was completely bat-shit.

Megan White said, “Passive aggressiveness…you’re just constantly walking on eggshells.”

Fionna Buchanan said, “Exaggerated TMI about intimate encounters to betraying the confidence of their friends.”

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To all of those terrible roommates around the world, may your crops wither and karma get you. DEUCES!

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Desharra Alexander-Self is a senior majoring in English with a concentration in creative writing and minoring in Japanese. Some of the things she enjoys are Tumblr, Japanese/Korean media, video games, DIY beauty videos, free food and finding random things to be excited about (like sheep, mythology and Italian literature). You can follow her on social media under @Queen_Aelise.

 

Tags: college roommates, roommate horror story, roommates