Ever wonder which time of year it’s finally appropriate to start listening to Christmas music? Or which songs are the absolute essential must-plays of the holiday season? Well, wonder no longer, my friends. The following list contains the most important rules of etiquette an educated Christmas, music enthusiast should follow in order to truly celebrate the holidays to the fullest.
DO: Start listening to Christmas music in secret as early as November 1st.
I’m sorry, but there’s no denying it. The day after Halloween is the day that Christmas season starts. You are officially allowed to get as lit as Rudolph’s nose about the holiday season the moment you take off your sexy cat costume and slip into your Frosty the Snowman onesie.
DON’T: Start blasting Christmas music (so loud that your neighbors can hear you three houses down) until Thanksgiving Day.
I know it’s going to take some restraint but, out of respect for those remaining ghouls and goblins mourning the end of the spooky season, try to avoid decking ALL the halls until there’s only a faint smell of Thanksgiving turkey still filling the streets. Admittedly this rule of etiquette is one that I break every year but if you’ve got the willpower to stifle your inner Buddy the Elf through the first three weeks of November, I salute you.
DO: Listen to “All I Want for Christmas is You” all the way through every time the song comes on no matter where you are or what you are doing.
Mariah Carey did not throw her entire glitter-covered soul into this song just so you could skip past it as if she’s not the queen of Christmas radio. Turn that track up to 11 and hit that high C at least once a day this holiday season and you can bet all of your Christmas wishes will come true (this is scientifically proven to work, I swear).
DON’T: Be a Michael Bublé hater or face the facts that you’re the definition of a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins.
You’re not original and clearly don’t understand the meaning of Christmas spirit, since that man’s voice is the audible equivalent of drinking ice cold eggnog on Christmas morning. So, what if his style is a Frank Sinatra rip-off? Some of you might not realize that Michael Bublé’s Christmas album was actually one of the gifts given by the three wise men to baby Jesus the night he was born. Yeah, so think about that the next time you want to whine about his “speak-singing” little more.
DO: Respect the classics.
There’s truly nothing like the early song stylings that gave birth to the genre that brought us Justin Bieber’s rapping holiday masterpiece “Drummer Boy.” From Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole to Brenda Lee and Andy Williams, you can just feel the pure holiday joy that must have filled the studios where this music was recorded. If you want to yearn for the holidays of decades past, don’t forget to show our festive forefathers some love this season.
DON’T: Judge my fellow Christmas music junkies, ya lousy bunch of Grinches!
You’re not cooler than us just because you don’t have a choreographed dance ready in case “Last Christmas” by Wham! ever comes on at a party, okay? The holiday season is all about spreading love and cheer to those who need it. So, don’t throw snowballs at those of us who embrace the sounds of this season with open jazz hands. Open yourself up a little to the magic of the yuletide and I promise your heart will grow three sizes this December.
Stephanie Tkaczyk is a senior majoring in Kinesiology who enjoys stressing herself out by taking unnecessary writing classes in order to satisfy her creative side. She loves listening to, talking about and finding new music more than anything, in addition to traveling to every place on the planet and spending time with other people who watch too many movies. You can follow her on Instagram @hotsteph24.