It’s mid-July, and you’re at a barbecue with your family and friends, enjoying burgers and beers (of course). When the day is over and done, you don’t pack up and head home – you set your blanket on the cool grass and gaze up at the sky, preparing to witness a traditional American summer-month pastime: fireworks. Whether you love or hate these beautiful, eardrum-shattering explosions, chances are you’ve never considered how much you have in common with them. Well, we at ing feel it’s quite important to reflect on such trivial matters and you should, too. Answer these few questions, and we’ll tell you which firework you are.
- When your alarm goes off in the morning, you:
- Snooze it … three times.
- Sit up, stretch and smile at the sun.
- Open one eyelid to see if you have time for five more minutes.
- Alarm? I’ve been awake all night!
- When ordering coffee, you:
- Add two extra shots of espresso (… I’m tired).
- Order a lavender latte.
- Why order coffee when I can make Folgers at home?
- Order a large, half sweet, one-pump, no whip, soy latte.
- When arriving at a house party, you:
- Head straight for the couch to keep a low profile.
- Go around greeting everyone and engaging in small talk.
- Say hi to the host and fake an emergency to sneak home to your bed.
- I don’t arrive, I make an entrance.
- When dog-sitting for a friend, you:
- Cuddle up with the pup for a good chunk of the day.
- Pet and love the animal, and prove it with tons of selfies.
- Make sure it has food and water, and then get back to your Netflix binge.
- Go on ALL the walks!
You’re a peony firework. You don’t really announce yourself, you just kind of show up, flash your lights and disappear. You spend a lot of your time in solitude, making you the friend that everyone is surprised to see out on a Saturday night. When your light does shine, it’s beautiful – but you’d much rather be chillin’ than shinin’.
You’re a beehive firework. You’re always buzzing and showering the world in your glitter. You’re friendly and cheerful from the minute you wake up until the moment you fall asleep. Your bright energy is mesmerizing and comforting.
You’re a box of poppers. You know, those tiny white packages that you throw on the ground and they make a “pop” sound? You’re only kind of a firework. If you didn’t have to be, you certainly wouldn’t be. You don’t put much energy into anything, and only “pop” when you feel like you must. Laziness is a disease, my friend.
You’re a 500-gram Big Mother Clucker 30-shot firework cake. You bring the noise (and the boom, or whatever) nonstop, all the time, everywhere. You are always bouncing off the walls with energy and have zero idea what it means to relax. Your friends love you on the weekend but want to punch you on a Tuesday morning. But hey, keep doing you.